Hi there,
Apologies for the big gap between blogs, lots going on – travel, writing, big things afoot. OK, enough excuses.
I feel compelled to write about this given recent “events” and scuttle butt on the internet.
Before I write my blog I reacquaint myself with the last thing I wrote to you about and, seeing it was around Fran’s update with her horse Crest, it made me want to tell you how I feel about some of the negative and virulent accusations sometimes made about us.
Our Ohio event on Savvy Club Sunday featured Fran, and her horse Crest, in the lesson with me. I had so many of you come up and thank me for the lesson (not to mention those of you who weighed in on the last blog about it) saying how much it made you think and realize how you’ve been pushing your horse over emotional thresholds. Fran and I felt great about the results, and more importantly… Crest revealed to us how much he’d been holding inside while still trying his guts out for Fran (who had rescued him from a horrible past).
But here’s the disturbing part. I got an email from a Savvy Club member expressing how horrified she was about how I pushed Crest (who didn’t seem that bad), that she’s lost respect for me / us (she criticized Pat’s lesson too) and as a result was leaving the Savvy Club.
It’s really hard getting something like that because I feel so misunderstood, and yet I want to validate that what she saw was real for her. I can’t tell her that she didn’t get it; that would be insulting. Really it is more a reflection of how poorly I conveyed the message for some in the audience.
My teacher, Glynn Braddy (my Essentials, Horsenality, philosophy and health mentor) sent me a really centering email after reading some of the nasty comments out there (not about the lesson): “Incidentally, I read some ‘bad press’ about Pat; I believe negative press about Parelli functions to keep the right students close and the others at a distance.”
You might think it’s odd that we can still feel hurt by the negative comments, and mostly we don’t. But I think that “hurt” helps us rise to a whole new level.
Makes me think about how we coach you in your horsemanship… just when you think everything is awful and unbearable, you’re actually on the brink of a breakthrough.
So here’s to having more breakthroughs and being able to look at the difficult stuff with understanding, optimism and without judgment. Hard as it was (mainly because I feel like a failure – not because I believe what she’s saying) I’m very grateful for that email conversation. It’s helping to make me a better teacher.
Strange isn’t it? Pat and I get thousands of thank you’s from all of you, heart-bulging stories of how our program has saved your horse or transformed your life, but we can still feel the pang when just one negative comment comes in. Can’t help but think of that line in the movie “Pretty Woman” when Julia says “The bad stuff is easier to believe.” Might not be the exact quote, but it’s something like that.
I feel like the big challenge in life is to thrive despite the negativity that surrounds us. I’ve heard myself say, “Life is perfect,” or as Glynn would say… “Things are unfolding exactly as they should.” So what do you do with that information? I’ve often looked back on uncomfortable, difficult or hurtful situations and realized that, had it not been for that, I wouldn’t be living my dream today. So my goal is to live every day as if I was looking back at it 10 years from now. It’s not always easy, but when things get hard I absolutely can do it. Just need to do it sooner sometimes. What does Pat say? “Do less sooner rather than more later.” It applies to so much more than horses
Until next time,
Linda
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Dear Linda,
Thank you again for writing this. Recently I had the same experience. A person I thought was one of my best friends has really bad mouthed me and my horses and what I am doing with them. Like you said, although I have heard a lot of amazing things said about what I am doing with them since Parelli, being a subject of ridicule by someone I loved has hurt deeply, and as shaken me to my very core. By going back and reading this blog, has helped me to stay focused on the truth, and strive to be better each day. Again even as you and Pat have changed my life, and more importantly, my horses, you have up loifted me in one of my darkest days.
Sincerely,
Belinda Green
I know what you’re going through. The same happened to me early in my Parelli days. In the end I decided what my horses thought of me was way more important.
My husband teaches DISC Personality Training and what Linda said about stretching to a higher level is REALLY GROWING. When you can say I’m responsible for not conveying a method. You know you have a true instructor. We attended a Parelli event in Columbus, OH. Prior to the event we made arrangements to send our rank gelding to the sale barn after 2 trainers said he was not safe to keep in any barn.- Let alone have a 12 year old train him. After 15 min. into the program we new he was staying with us. My daughter personally approached Pat and asked him if he felt a 12 year old could use his system for our situation. Pat said “absolutely” He said “It is your obligation as an owner to correct this.” Those words were seared in our minds and hearts!!! She passed L1 in 7 months and started L2 but ended up in college selling her horse. The lady that bought him loves him so– any one knocking Parelli training–needs to experience the the training before slanderous remarks are made.
Love the story Ruth, thank you for sharing. And how cool that your husband teaches DISC!
Dear Linda,I have met you several times, one at Fla campus the weekend after the accident with your lovely horse, the other was in Jax. Now, I have to say, I have the UPMOST respect for both your and Pat and the way you handle all your business. I had tickets to ROAD TO THE HORSE and could not go because a couple of weeks before the event my Queenie went lame. I went to DR. ARIC ADAMS.., you know him well, and it cost me over $2,000.00 so my road to the horse event was called off for me. I say all of that because I want you to know that the my Queenie has made a complete turn around this year in her attitude and how she works and listens and her trust in me. I also want you to know that the group I was going to see ROAD TO THE HORSE were all Cris Cox or Clinton fans. However, they text me during the entire event…send me pictures on FB every minute they could and the ENTIRE TIME said …..Pat is going to win this. They also spent the entire weekend telling me how sorry they were for not being in my corner where you and Pat are concerned. After the event they still felt like Pat had won. Now, I feel like a winner also because my horse is so connected to me, my friends now see where I am coming from and it hurst my heart to know that someone can make you feel just a little bad. You are a bigger person than I when you can take the negative remark and manage to turn it into something positive. Both times that I have had the PLEASURE of seeing you, I felt like you were almost larger than life and I had the upmost respect for you and your work. Sorry this is so long but needed…
postive and progressive. Negative comments are only hurtful and counter productive. Kudos to you Linda and Pat for sharing your vision to thousands. The equine community, which you have increased 10 fold, is such a great place to share and discuss. Lets do this with positive input. We can disagree, no one is perfect, but it is the way we learn from our mistakes that make the difference. You make a difference Linda!
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