This is a short one.
You know my dogs – Vinny (Left-Brain Extrovert) and Moxie (Right-Brain Extrovert)… well, as I’m sitting here writing bunches of stuff, something interesting happened. Being about 15 weeks old, Moxie is teething like crazy and when she plays with us those little points are really sharp!
Linda's pup Moxie
So as she was biting me (playing affectionately of course!), I started to think about why she keeps doing this even though I’ve tried to tell her not to (for some weeks now).
Wake up call… because if you are truly effective, something should have improved!
I thought about her doganality and changed my approach. When she chewed on my fingers and it didn’t hurt, I said nothing, stayed neutral. But when she took it a little further and bit a little too hard, I yelped.
Amazing! She did it 3 times, testing I think. And then she looked at me, and just stopped, came over and licked me and moments later crawled behind my laptop and curled up between my calves.
Right-brain animals/humans really don’t want to hurt people (not saying that left-brain’s do, please don’t read that into it!) So instead of reacting and disciplining when you feel attacked, maybe just letting them know it hurt (without blame or counter attack) will bring some balance and understanding. Or not! You have to be prepared for the opposite reaction and then examine what you did and how you did it!
It makes me think of that amazing book I recommended some blogs ago – Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. If you haven’t read it, get it! Huge stuff, resonates in a big way in how we approach horsemanship. The key is to understand and express your feelings and not expect the other to change. And when you can truly do that, “it”, “life”, “experience” changes.
Yours naturally,
Linda
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Hi Linda,
I wanted to acknowledge you for your deep consideration for how “it” occurs for the horse dog and student. You are very gracious. I saw you in CA this summer, and I was so impressed with your regard for Remmers process. I found it deeply compassionate, never making him wrong. As a student in the horse world I love that you are a living example of LOVE, LANGUAGE, and LEADERSHIP. You and Pat have raised the bar for honoring the dignity of horses and novice horse folk alike. Thank You So Very Much!
Thank you so much Jan
L
Hi Linda,
I am watching a very touching dog behaivor pattern unfolding here at home and thought you might find it interesting. We recently brought home our new puppy that we have been waiting two years for. He would have made three dogs in our house. Sadly we lost our 9 yr old “Buddy” to luekemia shortly before bringing the puppy home. Buddy was the boss, and our 7 yr old “Toby” was the submissive one. Buddy only allowed Toby to do what he wanted. Buddy was always the teacher and Toby the student. Toby was very content in that role.
So, along comes the puppy and Toby doesn’t have a clue what to do. Buddy is not there to guide him. Well, a few weeks have passed and of course the puppy is biting Toby. Finally Toby spanks (grabs his ear) the puppy and the puppy yelps. Toby gave me the most terrified look and I had to reassure him that what he did was the right thing, and that he is now the teacher. He’s starting to get the hang of it and the puppy is learning the meaning of respect. They are becoming best buds and learning together how to be teacher and student. And sometimes I have to be the teacher of both of them….lol. I spend countless minutes everyday watching the interactions of the two and find it very intriguing.
– Good luck with Moxie.-
Dear Linda,
I appreciate you and your dear heart and how much you care about quality of life of horses, dogs and people. Take care of you and (ALL) yours, Gillian Marrah
Linda: I enjoyed reading about your “aha” moment with Moxie. That is exactly the right thing to do when a puppy nips. I have a 12 week old Lab pup who has wonderful bite inhibition because both her litter mates and myself were very clear to her that biting hurts! (I am the breeder of her litter.) Just like horses, dogs need “love, language and leadership”. I am currently reading a book that you might enjoy. It is easy to just read bits at a time as I know you are busy, then work on those things. It is called the Focused Puppy by Deborah Jones and Judy Keller. (I have no relationship at all with this book/the authors, just enjoying the book.)
What a great title! Thank you.
L
I forgot to tell you the only place I found this book available was on http://www.cleanrun.com
Linda,
I just want you to know that I adore both Vinny and Moxie and I love reading your blogs about them and their doganalities. I have two miniature dachshunds, Gracie Lou, a black and tan one who is 8 and Ellie Mae a red one who is 6 and I pretty much worship the ground they walk on. Grace is definitely a left brained introvert and Ellie is a right brained introvert. I do think that Moxie has to be the cutest little dachshund puppy, of course as I love the breed, I tend to think that every dachshund is the cutest dachshund ever. Seeing pictures of her and seeing her on your television show make me want a dachshund puppy in the worst way!
I hope that you have as much fun with Vinny and Moxie as I do with my two and I am really hoping that you bring them with you to the World Equestrian Games here in Lexington, Ky. because I am dying to meet them! Please keep the blogs coming! Thank you so much!
Sincerely,
Anne
They are just so adorable – I know how you feel!
And, sadly, Moxie and Vinny won’t be at WEG… no dogs allowed
L
About 4 years ago (level 1) my RBI bit me because I was near her food, I said “ouch” and rubbed her wondering why she did that. Thank goodness I didn’t smack her! She’s never even threatened to bite since and she lets me near her all the time when shes eating.
Thank you! Sometimes you just have to communicate that your hurt, it’s the same with people.
Priscilla
I think the best part is that you didn’t smack her. How savvy.
L
Linda,
I have been living with this since the Savvy conference in Lakeland, Fl. last October and I can’t keep it in any longer. My Mom and I are also the proud parents of two dachsunds. We had Toby 10 months when I first saw Vinny at Lakeland. I was missing him so very much and then there was Vinny. I jumped out of my seat. I talked to you later during the conference but did not mention it because there are so many people trying to talk with you about situations with their horses I couldn’t bring myself to take up time talking about dogs and coincidences. Since then I have thoroughly loved the blogs about Vinny always comparing him with Toby. Toby was born September 29, 2008
and we got him just before Christmas that year. We named him Toby Christopher Cringle Scharf. He is a black and tan short haired mini, 11 pounds.
During this last year it became increasingly more apparent that Toby needed a buddy. We tried to looked at the shelters, and dachsund rescue without success, but found out along the way that it would be best if we got a female because little “doxies” can be very territorial marking their area. Then just about the same time you were getting Moxie we found Libby. It was the 3rd of July and we walked into our favorite local pet shop where we found Toby and there she was. She is listed as just dachsund not a mini but she was obviously the runt of the litter since her two brothers were twice her size. She was born May 2, 2010 and is also black and tan with short hair. Once again we had made a purchase near a holiday so her name is…
Well, I hope that like me, you don’t regret the decision to get a second doxie. Moxie and Vinny have an absolute ball. Aren’t they just the cutest things?!
L
He paused a few more moments thinking and then cantered back over to me and fell into PERFECT beautiful body rounded circles around me at a diameter of about 20 feet at the trot. I never moved. After he made about 3 laps I disengaged him. Again…..AMAZING!!!
I say all this detail to say that you and Pat should be recognized at the world’s top horse communicators on the planet. Anyone that sees your methods and questions it or worse degrades it has simply NOT TRIED IT! We use your strategies and adjust to horsenality and the results are always incredible. Thank you so much for all you do. I KNOW my horses that GOT divorces are so very happy I’ve studied your courses!
PS. Sorry so long, I just want you and Pat to know how truly wonderful you are!
Ummmm, it’s not about us. Thank you for taking the message and doing it. That’s way harder.
L
We’ve been practicing turns on the Figure 8 pattern, because starting on a straight rail is somewhat hard for his RBE side and circles help to “shorten” him. So, yesterday, I got my body right for the first time – I tried raising my rib cage to allow his inside shoulder to lift……AMAZING!!!!! This ultra-sensitive horse (that I had been neck reining) started making the figure 8 at the trot with lead changes 1 step after I switched my rib position in the middle of the pattern with ZERO signal off the reins!!! He was rounding his nose, neck and ribs around the cones – like he was a barrel racing pro. It was instant and incredible. The key was to ask him in such a way that he didn’t feel the need to defend his RB nature, NOT pulling with a rein or pushing his rib with a leg. As soon as he got this I got off to remove all pressure and reward his excellence!
Then we started playing at Liberty just for fun, and I’d never ask him for circles in an open arena (110 X 60) before – so just out of curiosity I tried. I set up in a corner so that 2 sides of the circle had boundaries and he just had to keep the circle on the back side of me. I sent him, and he lost the picture and when he came through to the open back he headed out across the arena. I didn’t even turn my head around. I just stayed passively persistent in the proper position. Peeking over my shoulder I could see that he’d made it to the opposite rail and just stood there. He paused a few more moments thinking and then cantered back over to me and fell into PERFECT beautiful body rounded circles…
OK, so, why is this not on ParelliTube?!
L
Linda, You are so right. Horsenalities are SO important. I just wanted to share a quick update with you. We have 9 horses we are working to educate under your program, and due to quantity we are lucky to have several of each horsenality. My “Crest” is Apollo, he is a RBE/LBI – that was abused in his opinion. Before I had him he was ridden by a lady that was afraid of horses, and he is a Rocky Mountain Saddle horse so he is VERY forward. She squeezed him hard with her legs and always pulled hard on his mouth. All such a terrible combination for this ultra-sensitive RBE. My goal has been to win the friendly game with him with his face (currently using a halter only) and eventually his mouth, and with my legs through an independent seat. Also, to help him win the squeeze game on the ground and in freestyle. Therefore, when I ride – I’ve been building my relationship with him by showing him other ways I can signal him to make transitions and change of direction, and that if he’ll do his part, I’ll do mine and leave his ultra-sensitive face alone.
I recently re-watched your lesson (June 2010 Savvy DVD) with Kat and Gruly and your tips added SO many arrows to my quiver!
While I have been making progress with Apollo, I seemed to be stuck at the walk and with change of direction happening, but Apollo not committing to them – not getting in the correct lead and not rounding his ribs to the correct side. After breaking down your lesson I decided to introduce it in pieces to Apollo. We’ve been practicing turns on the Figure 8 pattern, because starting on a…
Hello Linda,
As I was reading your blog tonight, I was thinking how you have taken what you have learned with horses, now using that knowledge with dogs, how interesting. I use what I have learn from you (well don’t tell my staff I am a manager in a large pet store) but I actually use what i have learn on my staff (the human kind), I can’t begin to tell you the change it has made!!! To the point where I have been asked by my boss to go to other stores to help other managers. Thank you it’s been such a wonderful adventure this far, can’t wait to see where it’s going next!
With Great respect and thanks for you and Pat
Kathy
Kathy… you know this.
It’s not about the…
So what is it about? I don’t need to tell you, you get it.
It’s about understanding, relationship, forgiveness, focus, union, leadership, empowerment, and so much more. That’s why it translates to so many other areas.
In the end, it’s about us, me, you, I.
L
I got Marshall Rosenberg’s audio CD’s after you mentioned the book on your blog. Wow, this is wonderful stuff! I’ve listened to it several times driving to my students and also gave it to my son (18) to listen to as well. This should be taught in schools!
Petra Christensen
Parelli 1Star Junior Instructor
Parelli Central
And now read “Zero Limits” by Dr. Joe Vitale.
L
Hi Linda
oh that little puppy is just soo soo cute. That’s really interesting about them not actually realising they are hurting us…. the same probably applies to baby horses who try to bite our fingers… I have a rising 4 year old and he has only just stopped trying to eat everything including my hands, jacket zip, shirt, carrot stick, popper, our trees, the railings, the list goes on. Tonight I was giving him some water (while filling his bucket – he likes to drink from the bucket I use to top up their water buckets!), and he ended up licking my hands, fingers and arms… funny. Moxie is adorable.
Vicki
Oops! I forgot to say–i’m so in love with Moxie
Me too!
And Vinny too!
L
Hiya! 11 years ago,just as i was starting my Parelli journey,i had a young colt who i now know was a very strong minded LBI. He bit me one day,as i was grooming where he perceived a “no go area” to be (flanks). I screamed in pain and i have to say shock,as i could do almost anything with this young horse,so i was flabbergasted that it had happened. He looked round at me for a few minutes,i’d crumpled to the floor in the corner of his stable (yes i know-not savvy at all). He then came over to me and sniffed me-i was crying my eyes out,but i stroked his muzzle. He NEVER bit me again,or even threatened to. 11 years on,much more savvy that started with this horse
In a healthy dog (psychologically/mentally), that was raised with at least ONE other litter-mate, and allowed to stay with their mother through 3week-8week stage of their development, will learn bite inhibition. Their litter-mates and mother would have taught the puppy bite-inhibition by simply doing exactly what you just did. Bite a little = neutral, bite hard=yelp, with a follow up growl/snap if you don’t take the first hint and stop. It then must be generalized to apply to people when the puppy first lives with people. I can’t tell you how many mouthing problems I see in 8 month old dogs where it should have easily been stopped months before with a little bit of psychology.
In fact, a problem develops when a puppy is raised w/o litter-mates (a singleton pup) or taken from mom and/or litter mates too soon. That time of development of 3-8 weeks is SOOOO critical. Dealing with a pup/dog that did not receive it’s benefits can be the most trying and frustrating on even a veteran dog/animal trainer because they don’t respond to the verbal/physical cues as they should — because they never learned the language in the first place. You must then in a sense take them back to kindergarten and teach them. Sometimes the best way to do that is put them in a pack dynamic and let the other dogs teach them — as they are so much more consistent then we silly humans are.
Anyway, you did exactly what I tell my clients to do in my Puppy Preschool classes. It’s the puppy who continues to bite down or doesn’t get the hint after a few tries, that you have to worry about. That he…
Yep.
And then the most essential element I pick up on is the word ‘frustration’.
In the end, the key is to not get frustrated. Not because you think that’s the right thing to to do, it’s because you don’t even go there.
That’s balance, and understanding. That’s savvy.
And it ain’t easy!
L
Dear Linda, Remember to be gentle with yourself. I think it is especially challenging when not seen or misunderstood. You can be very clear and well intentioned and still others may project onto you/us. I appreciate you and your teaching style that I’ve been benefiting from now, for years. Take care, Gillian Marrah
Yep. And thank you.
L
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