This is a short one.
You know my dogs – Vinny (Left-Brain Extrovert) and Moxie (Right-Brain Extrovert)… well, as I’m sitting here writing bunches of stuff, something interesting happened. Being about 15 weeks old, Moxie is teething like crazy and when she plays with us those little points are really sharp!
Linda's pup Moxie
So as she was biting me (playing affectionately of course!), I started to think about why she keeps doing this even though I’ve tried to tell her not to (for some weeks now).
Wake up call… because if you are truly effective, something should have improved!
I thought about her doganality and changed my approach. When she chewed on my fingers and it didn’t hurt, I said nothing, stayed neutral. But when she took it a little further and bit a little too hard, I yelped.
Amazing! She did it 3 times, testing I think. And then she looked at me, and just stopped, came over and licked me and moments later crawled behind my laptop and curled up between my calves.
Right-brain animals/humans really don’t want to hurt people (not saying that left-brain’s do, please don’t read that into it!) So instead of reacting and disciplining when you feel attacked, maybe just letting them know it hurt (without blame or counter attack) will bring some balance and understanding. Or not! You have to be prepared for the opposite reaction and then examine what you did and how you did it!
It makes me think of that amazing book I recommended some blogs ago – Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. If you haven’t read it, get it! Huge stuff, resonates in a big way in how we approach horsemanship. The key is to understand and express your feelings and not expect the other to change. And when you can truly do that, “it”, “life”, “experience” changes.
Yours naturally,
Linda
{ 50 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank you Linda for that reminder. I could not help but think about my communication with my husband and kids. As a new Savvy member, I am trying to soak in all I can… there is so much to think about. I am thankful for your thoughts and look forward to more. Wish I could attend the rendezvous — sounds fantastic!
The same tactic is working on my LBE horse youngster! She really didn’t know that nibbling hurts, and to do something more dramatic seemed an over reaction – so now I yelp and she quits. And she is getting better at just inspecting me without using her teeth.
Linda,,,congrats on figuring that out!!
Dog trainers use that approach all the time. You should start a Parelli Pooch program, you’re a natural with dogs, too!!
Love your video’s,,love the program!! I wouldn’t mind getting TWO video’s a month.
trottin’ along,
Bambi
Funny to read. Our Bran is 20 weeks tomorrow and I have been doing the same thing. Most of the time when I yelp she stops, sits back and looks at me. Her reactrin is nt always the same, probbaly to do with the way I yelp. If I laugh she attacks me again, if I don’t often gives me kisses. I wish my pillows and rugs could yelp. None of them have corners left. Oh Dear
It works with cats, I’ll vouch for that. One of my cats has a need to knead and my upper torso is his favorite spot. Sometimes he gets a bit too enthusiastic with the claws. When they sink in, I say, “OW!”. He stops kneading, looks at me with surprise, then begins again, softer. I keep repeating the process until he figures out exactly how hard he can knead, then I say, “Thank you” and pet him. Amazing how smart they are.
WOW, that is great, and so true, it explains something to me. I have a wonderful RBE and he loves to play with me when he is having his feet trimmed, the other day he nipped my finger and i pulled back and said ouch (it hurt!) and he looked so upset and then licked me. This has given me another fab arrow for my quiver.
Hi Linda, hmm interesting, Flo (16.2 Lipizzaner) is well into mutual grooming, even trying to groom my hair, the ouch! steady works, but I need to keep my feet still or it turns into ‘who can keep there feet still the longest’!.
Great site,
Glyn and Flo
I thank you for sharing this….I have always done this with dogs and cats and yes it is all you have to do to stop them hurting you…they adore you and don’t want to hurt you. I have never tried it though with humans (hardly ever) or horses for that sake….I am going to give it a go. I hope to reply within a few weeks. I might not get the same results but what the heck I’ll do it just to see what happens.
Linda – too bad I didn’t know about this when my husband was alive. Not that he bit me, but you know how husbands can be at times pushy, dominering (not that Pat is). Guess it would stand true for all humans and our interactions with them.
It’s a great observation and I will keep it in mind with my cats, dog, goat and of course horses.
For really natural, “from the dogs’ point of view” training check out: Ian Dunbar http://www.siriuspup.com, Sophia Yin http://www.drsophiayin.com to “learn more about leadership without force” as that applies to dogs.
Penny
I’ve had that same experience with our new kitten. He loves to play, it’s all he thinks about and he loves to get in bed with me and pounce on the covers. Pretty quickly it turned into biting my fingers constantly. I did exactly what you describe with your dog, when he would bite too hard, I would let him know it hurt instead of trying to stop the behavior which made him worse. The more I struggled the more he thought I was engaging in his game and pretty soon he was so wound up and not thinking that I would have to physically restraint him to keep from getting hurt. When I started reacting verbally he got the message. I watched how our older cat dealt with him, all he has to do is let out a painful noise and the kitten walks away.
They really are smarter than we give them credit for.
Thanks Linda,
I had/have the same kind of problem with my 1/2 Great Dane, 1/4 St. Bernard, 1/4 Mastiff pup, who is now 8 months old and 100 pounds. The only reason we still have a little problem is that he is deaf so “yelp”ing doesn’t work. Unfortunately, I have had to chuck him under his chin when he plays too hard, but then I make sure I love on him a lot after the correction!! Being that he is a super smart boy, he got it after only a couple of tries and now I pretty much only have to give him the no sign and look VERY sternly at him.
Thank you for the site!! =D
Hi Linda, we used to raise border collies and as puppies will do, they will chew on you with their sharp teeth as you know! In search of solutions, I ran across a book written by monks (sorry, I can’t remember the name) and it said in a nutshell, if you want to train a dog, think like a wolf. Their suggestion to the puppy chewing problem was to give them a low growl, just like their mother would. It works! You might call it natural dogmanship!
have fun with the doggies!
Laura
Thanks, Linda,
That was an excellent post. It is always so cool to hear about scenarios like this, when less gets you more in a kind and passive way.
Kat
Hey Linda,
I have seen this done with dogs on Animal Planet’s “it’s me or the dog” with dog trainer Victoria Stilwell (I think that’s spelled right). I have seen her do it many times with many different dogs, but never put it togethor with horses!! Thank you so much for that wonderful insight! Moxie and Vinny are so cute!
I love to read your blog! They are always full of good insights!
Thanks,
Abigail
I love your puppy pictures! She is adorable, makes me want another puppy. I have three weenie dogs, so I sure don’t need another one. Pup’s are so fun though. Enjoy her for me too! (I really don’t miss that baby teeth stage though!)
One of your students Meg Ellis used to come out and ride my horses.
Any how here are my pups, Zeena, Zoe and Zorro
http://youtu.be/CvT0GPzJ8qg
Hi Linda. We had exactly the same experience..Lucy & me…She did just about the same thing when she knew she hurt me. Now we have a saying which is “Play Hard, Bite Easy” and she plays REALLY hard with me but she will only play bite. And if she bites too hard I yelp and remind her & she play bites again. They are so smart. Sometimes when I throw the ball for her I accidently hit her. She gets very upset and stops in her tracks for me to come apologize & hold her. So they must have some understanding in there about that concept of playing too hard.
The correct communication with the correct timing works for all of us.
Little Moxie is so cute. Is she growing? Is her snout getting longer? How much does she weigh now? give us an update!!!
Sandy
I totally agree!!!! I’m a dog groomer and I apply what I’ve learned about *horsenalities* to handling the dogs. It’s helped sooooo much. I cannot handle a fearful dog the same way I do a disrespectful dog. I am constantly trying to be creative in my ways of getting thru to a difficult dog. And for better or for worse I’ve become known around town for being able to handle the *bad* dogs. : )
This technique worked on my 7 month old baby when she would bite me. LOL
I tried spatting her hands, saying no… etc. Then I thought about it. I do this with my dogs why not try it with her, can’t hurt right? Sure enough worked like a charm.
Moxie is a doll!