As my great mentor, Glynn Braddy, often used to say to us: “Personal growth is rarely comfortable or convenient.” What a wonderful thing to remember when you’re feeling the growing pains as you try to improve yourself through horsemanship!
One time a student asked when he could expect his “problems” to be over so he could start working on his horsemanship. Dr. Stephanie Burns was in the room and responded, “What makes you think that working on the problems is not working on your horsemanship?” What a great response. It led to a wonderful discussion about reframing your feelings and experiences. “For example” she said, “don’t you think Pat and Linda have problems with their horses? The difference is how you think about it.” She turned to me and asked me to comment.
I actually think that all you’re ever doing is solving problems! Problems in communication, trust, rapport, respect, impulsion, flexion, flying changes, trailer loading, piaffe, passage, slide stops, spins, liberty… It’s when we try to have something be perfect or have a certain expectation that horses have trouble with us, and that’s because we’re no longer in the moment. The horse feels us being somewhere else in our mind, our focus, feel and timing goes “off” and then we lose the horse in some way – mentally, emotionally or physically.
So how I think about my daily interactions with horses is with a sense of excitement because I wonder what’s going to present itself today as I try to make some kind of progress. I can’t wait to get in there and solve the problem of advancement, or to fix a lingering issue that I didn’t have the skills to deal with yesterday such as I told you about in my blog about my breakthrough with Allure.
In Pat’s ever-evolving way of training people to become the best they can be, he recently had his interns do some team-building exercises that test how you solve problems together. One of them is called The Spider Web, where we build a ‘web’ out of nylon cord with all kinds of different sized holes in it. The game is to get everyone on the team from one side to the other, and through a different hole in the web – you can’t use the same hole twice. And you also have to do it without touching the web and ringing the little bell attached to it or you start again! It’s a fantastic exercise and as you can see, Vinny was one of the players! Actually, we were away when this happened and I was shown the photo when we got back!! I love the look on Vinny’s face .
Vinny takes part in the team building exercises!
I felt compelled to write this blog after just catching up on the comments from my last blog about Fran’s recent breakthrough with Crest (be sure to read the two blog entries on it if you haven’t yet) and I just LOVE hearing how committed you are to learning and growing for the sake of your horse.
Our horses are incredible teachers and it’s our responsibility to become incredible learners.
Why don’t you share a few words about one of your problem-solving breakthroughs and how it taught you to enjoy the journey. I’d love to read about that.
Until next time, stay natural!
Linda
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Hi Linda, I just discovered Parelli this year and have been feeling so grateful to you and Pat. I have always loved horses and because of a bad teacher experience, I had become afraid of horses (for years). –But after watching the videos on the Savvy Club, I had a new confidence. I started riding soon after watching just about every one of your videos. I was astonished that “horse people’ were ever afraid. I had so many times asked different people WHY is this horse acting this way? The answer had always seemed wrong ( “He/she’s being a brat” etc.) I just knew my fears would be nullified if I understood the “”. I don’t own a horse but I am now starting a lease with the hope of using the teaching series I won (awesome) at the Fresno Parelli presentation. I’m guessing my new lease is a “left brain introvert.” I feel very safe on him, he seems very confident-I am quite excited THANK YOU for the “WHY”!!!!
Where to start. Lovely Missy is a 16yo RBE/I – we kind of fell in together. She was hanging out in a paddock, twiddling her fetlocks and I had just lost my third horse in a row (all unexpectedly before their time, so I was questioning whether I should risk trying again, what with my track record?). Missy’s legs are full of scars, she just looked like a survivor to me but I wasn’t ready for a relationship yet. Poor Chris Corbidge, I kept sending her emails about Missy and her RB ways (she is my first RB experience)…moaning usually about how it felt like therapy and how I resented what she needed me to be to be her leader (where was the fun?). Chris was pretty wonderful, giving me little cryptic clues so I could engage with my new puzzle (but never giving me too much – that would be like reading the last page of the book first!!!) and slowly slowly I got hooked. How could I POSSIBLY have thought she was boring, how could I have not appreciated her softness, how much she communciates where she is at, confident one second, not so much now, ok bored, hmmm interested, which teaches me to change, adjust my way, new approach, as quickly as she does (very big stuff for me)….We are still way at the beginning of our time, its been huge, like my own mini-Fastrack, trying out all my arrows (even ones I’d forgotten for a while there and suddenly they bing inside your head again!), experimenting, stepping up, retreating to rethink when something didn’t quite go as expected. Huge soaking time for us both. What a gift Pat and yourself are to us and our partners.
Beautifully written Dalene. I hope you are sharing your journey on this too.
L
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