This is often the hardest thing to forget as we develop our skills in training and communicating with horses. In Parelli, the techniques are the least important and the relationship is the most important. To this end, no matter how effective we are at getting the horse to do something, if it is at the expense of his calmness, trust, motivation or willingness, then we have not gained anything. Here is the artistry in training, and the result is a horse who gives more and who becomes more bonded to you.
Last weekend in Birmingham, UK, we held our now 4th major event, attracting some 6,000 dedicated horse lovers. This time the subject was Horsenality. Since launching this concept four years ago, we have watched the changes in how people relate to their horses and made huge developments in getting them to understand that not all horses are the same. It was a lot of fun doing our first major event on the subject and it coincided with the launch of our electronic Horsenality-Humanality Match profile, because here is the next important concept – teaching people how to overcome their own personality styles in order to play to their horse’s needs. The more your personality is the opposite of your horse’s horsenality, the more challenging that can be mainly from an energy and confidence perspective. For example, if you are extroverted, but your horse is introverted… and you are confident but your horse is fearful, you’re going to find it even more challenging than simply learning how to put your natural predatory instincts aside and using prey animal logic!
Although starting with Pat Parelli in 1989, it wasn’t until reaching a high level of horsemanship with my horse Remmer, that I really discovered I was not doing what he needed. He was a major influence on the development of the Horsenality Profile because he made me realize I was not using psychology. He is an introvert, I am an extrovert. The more I did, the less he offered me. One day I asked Pat for help because I was having trouble getting him to give me more energy when playing at Liberty, and Pat asked me “What’s in it for him?” Gosh. I wasn’t expecting that one. Hmmm. Cookies. He loves food. “So are you using it for him?” No, I wasn’t. I realized I still had that subconscious rule that comes from I don’t know where that makes you think feeding treats is wrong. Immediately I changed my approach and began rewarding his tries with a treat and the difference was amazing. AMAZING.
Then came two more important developments in my savvy around horsenalities and especially introverts at this time… the first was to help release others from that rule and teach them how to use treats and rewards strategically for the horsenality that needed it (Left Brain Introverts); and the second was to learn how to become better than the treat! That meant learning how to get inside the horse’s mind and evoke his interest and curiosity. In Birmingham, last weekend, we could not have had a better example during the Success with Introverts demo on Saturday afternoon. Larisa Tasker and Rocho, her Left Brain Introvert (LBI) warmblood, joined me in the arena for a lesson in front of the crowd.
A talented jumper, Rocho had been given to Larisa because he’d become aggressive and extremely difficult to train and had stopped jumping. He’d been sent to a couple of trainers but each time the problem recurred within days or weeks of getting home and he was getting worse. Larisa applied all her savvy (she is a 2-Star Instructor now) and over the past 2 years they have been together, things have developed very nicely for her. Only one problem – he wasn’t all that interested in treats, and he shuts down in arenas so finding ways to motivate him were extremely hard and Larissa was at a training threshold.
As I watched her in the days before the event, he was quite obedient but he lacked exuberance. There was none, no sparkle in his eyes. He was just ‘there’, not unhappy, but not happy either. In the arena on Saturday, he did what Larissa asked him at walk and trot, but in the canter (On Line) he barely made a full circle. I showed her a couple of little techniques, but quickly realized that what we really needed was to get him to connect with her mentally and emotionally. So we turned him loose to see what would happen. At first he followed her and then he just plodded to the gate and stood there, no expression on his face. Larisa and I linked arms and I showed her how to attract him to her, approaching zone 5, getting stealthy and then releasing the pressure the moment he thought about looking at us. Didn’t take long and he was following us – first me, but once I showed Larissa how to change the feeling in her body and style of walking, he was more attracted to her. It was a lot of fun. Now that he was wanting to be more with her it was time to see how I could help her when riding.
Larisa and Linda play with Rocho
Being quite experienced with LBI horses by this time, I knew that observing his reactions and opinions was going to be a major step in the right direction of improving the relationship. Even though LBIs aren’t very physical, they are intensely mental. People tend to be intensely physical and slow mentally for the horse and when it comes to left brain horses this is where we are just not anywhere near provocative enough. I told Larisa to observe him as she went to mount, and that any time she got a negative expression or swish of the tail, to retreat. Sure enough, Rocho swished his tail when she put her foot in the stirrup. So I coached her to retreat each time and then re-approach, and to do this until it either didn’t happen anymore, or it was less. Finally, she could go to the next step, and then swing her leg over him and settle into the saddle… with permission. It was so wonderful to watch his reaction, he was so surprised that she was willing to listen to him rather than ignore is displeasure, he turned and looked at her! Getting permission to mount was one of the first really surprising things I learned from Pat way back in my first clinic in Sydney. I remember thinking “Ask permission? I own him!” Wow, how much my attitude changed that day.
I directed her then to ride him to the center of the arena, use the lightest aids and not ask him to go faster than he was offering, get off and remove the saddle and halter. As she did, Rocho started yawning, shaking his head, blinking his eyes. It is amazing to think how much stress he was going through, but as he released the tension the change in the horse became startlingly evident. At first he stayed close, then walked around but with a totally different attitude. Instead of going to the gate, he was checking the toys on the other side of the fence and heading away from the gate. Then he turned and came all the way over to me. I gave him a few polo mints which he took quite enthusiastically. Then I walked towards Larisa (who was sitting on the ground) and as I went around her, Rocho stayed with her. Then the magic began, he started to want to be closer to Larisa. I told her to do nothing, just be present and pretty soon he was playing with her arm, nuzzling her hair. It was so moving I couldn’t speak any more. I asked for some music so we could watch the relationship blossom between them. As the song was finishing I walked over, he reached to smell my hand, I took Larisa’s hand and we left the arena with Rocho at Larissa’s side. Both of us were quite emotional, and many of the spectators were openly teary. Larisa said she had never experienced Rocho’s attention like that.
Larisa and Rocho
When I arrived backstage on Sunday morning, I saw Rocho’s head hanging over the stall door and at first I didn’t recognize him. His expression was so different, it was really “alive”. As I got near, he reached out to me and his eye was bright. I couldn’t wait to find Larisa and ask her if she had noticed any changes. She looked different too, really excited and somehow more open. She said that the difference was unbelievable. He was reaching for her, nuzzling her, he even likes polos now!
So what a great beginning to the next part of their relationship. We have to remember to think like horses, to put the relationship first means listening to them and knowing first what their needs are. When we take care of them, they are more open to us and what we wish to ask. Some people have a lot of trouble understanding how important putting the relationship first is… well, if you want a happy horse and a great relationship.
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Linda,
Thank you so much for this posting! It has inspired me to go back to “square one” with saddling my LBI, Sammy. Sammy has pretty consistently been telling me that I don’t have permission to saddle him. His behaviors are very mild, in the eyes of the very traditional people at my barn, but the gnashing of his teeth, biting the air, watching me constantly for a chance to take a nip at me, and even the general tension in his body, says loud and clear “I said NO!”. I have tried cookies for incentive, a bin of hay in front of him, carrots when the girth goes on, etc., but just realized that I have been trying to bribe tolerance out of him. None of it resulted in him giving me PERMISSION! Well, no more. Thank you again. I won’t be riding again until it is with permission.
I am always interested in learning more about LBIs. I did personality profiling with people years before horses and Parelli. It never even crossed my mind that profiling could be done with animals. Since I learned Linda’s horsenality program, it has opened up a whole new world to me. “New” is the operative word here. I am still trying to identify emotions with my LBI, Buddy, but it is MUCH easier since our interaction with Linda in Beaumont last year. She helped me distinguish between fear and backtalk. I doubted that my little cocky horse could be fearful at all. I know, now, that ANY horse can be fearful. I also know to act accordingly. Example: Buddy would always cough very deeply about three or four times whenever we would accelerate into a trot or canter. Whenever anyone else would ride him he would buck when asked to go into the canter. I wondered if he had some type of “dust” allergy or something. Now, I know it is stress because once he becomes used to the upward transitions (I do MILLIONS of transitions for him), first he quits coughing, then he starts blowing and licking and his ears start turning back to me so I know he is tuning into me. I make it as interesting as possible for him. And I never do too much. When I dismount, he will follow me all over the ranch until I take off his saddle and bridle because he knows he will get a treat for a “Job well done”! I love my horse! I am so glad I found Parelli. Thanks, Pat and Linda. You all are super! Lisa Payne
I am absorbing any information about LBI, so far what I have learned has helped me and my mare enormously, so much so we went for our first hack out by ourselves today. Can’t praise Parelli enough.
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